Congratulations! You beautiful, reckless soul you’re really doing it. Opening a gaming arcade in America in 2025. Cue the neon, the Mountain Dew, the faint echo of eighties synth pop and the dark, looming specter of the Tax ID. Yes before you buy that fourth pinball machine or argue over whether Dance Dance Revolution is a sport you’ve got to make yourself official. And by official, I mean crawling through government websites at 3a.m. and praying to whatever deity governs hold music.
Because let’s get real no one told you the real mini boss here would be paperwork. The arcade dream: Let’s run a place for people to have fun!” The IRS: That’s adorable. Please enter your mother’s maiden name and the shoe size of your registered agent.”
Tax ID Not the Name for Your Top Scoring Fighter Unfortunately
So, what even is a Tax ID and why does it haunt your sleep more than the phrase unexpected system error?
A Tax ID formally the EIN or Employer Identification Number is like your arcade’s Social Security number: a badge that says I promise I’ll pay taxes, please don’t put me on a weird audit list. The government banks and your landlord all want it. Your mom who still thinks you’re just playing with the computers does not.
Why is this magical code necessary?
- Because you want the IRS to leave you the hell alone (eventually).
- Banks require it so you can actually deposit those sweet sweet quarters.
- If you want to hire anyone (even your cousin who only sort of shows up) you must have it.
- Want a business credit card for official business expenses like a rare Mortal Kombat cabinet? No Tax ID, no dice.
But I’m only doing this for fun! Joke’s on you fun is taxable now.
The Tax ID Process: Or 10 Minutes in Bureaucratic Purgatory
You want fast? The IRS says: Sure, as long as you actually have your life together.
Here’s how you actually get your Tax ID (EIN):
1. Strap In, It’s Online Application Time
- Head to the IRS EIN online portal. Yes .gov ONLY. If you fall for a scam site that’s the universe telling you to rethink your life choices.
- Fill in your business structure: LLC, S corp or hot mess express.
- Identity time! Have your SSN business address (sorry, Mom’s attic doesn’t count) and the date you decided arcades > law school.
- Answer questions so oddly specific you’ll start to question reality: Will you have employees? No but technically yes but maybe does my dog count?
Bold move: Try not to cry when it times out during your sixth attempt.
PRO TIP:
The system works only Monday through Friday 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. ET. Because, naturally, all innovation dies on weekends and after 10p.m.
2. Congratulations You’ve Won Actually Just a PDF
- If the stars align (or if you’re just not cursed) you get your EIN (read: Tax ID) instantly as a downloadable PDF. Print it tattoo it sleep with it under your pillow.
- Lost it already? Welcome to adulthood. Call the IRS Business & Specialty Tax Line at 800 829 4933 and practice patience not heard of since pre 5G days.
But Can’t I Fax or Mail My Application Like It’s 1982?
You’re adorable.
- Fax: The IRS will maybe get to your application in four business days if their machine isn’t attacked by the office raccoon.
- Mail: Wait four weeks grow a beard write a memoir receive a number in return.
Seriously, Does My Tiny Arcade Even Need a Tax ID?
Let’s clear it up:
If you’re running a lemonade stand disguised as Pac Man Live you might get away with nothing. But the moment cash changes hands for tokens prizes or rental of your legendary Crash Bandicoot machine you are now in Tax ID territory.
- Employing anyone (read: more than your imaginary friend)? You need it.
- Want a business bank account with fewer suspicious looks from bank tellers? Need it.
- Hoping to look less sketch on official state forms? You really really need it.
The only things that don’t need a Tax ID in 2025:
- Your Twitch stream ( until you make actual money, then call your accountant).
- That secret Mario Kart club in your garage (for now).
- Your will to live which will fade a little every tax season.
FAQ: This Can’t Be Harder Than Beating Donkey Kong Right?
Let’s rapidly fire through your actual questions (and some you should be asking).
Q: Is applying for my arcade’s Tax ID free or do I need to sell another NES cartridge?
A: Completely free unless you count the cost of sanity. If someone tries to charge you unleash your inner Bowser and run.
Q: How many times do I give people my Tax ID?
A: As often as your Wi Fi password. Vendors, banks, payroll processors The Government get used to typing those nine sacred digits.
Q: What’s the most common newbie mistake?
A: Typing the wrong info and getting stuck in a groundhog day of error screens. Double check everything misspelling your new LLC’s name as Gaming Arcade will haunt you.
Q: Does anyone care about my Tax ID?
A: Only everyone you hope will give you money. Plus the IRS which cares more than your own family sometime
Real Talk: Why Tax IDs are the Secret Sauce of Adulting With Joysticks
Honestly, this entire process isn’t just a government plot to kill your vibe, it’s wait yeah maybe it is.
But here’s why you’ll love having your Tax ID (eventually):
- You’re now a real business owner discounts at Office Depot and everything.
- You get to pay taxes which like totally funds roads and boring adults stuff.
- You’re semi legit in the eyes of everyone from banks to landlords to that conspiracy loving uncle.
- You can hire actual staff not just the neighbor kid who steals candy from the prize counter.
- IRS audits? Slightly less terrifying when you’re not running on vibes alone.
And for sweet, sweet closure: Businesses never really die even if you flame out after a year your EIN (Tax ID) will haunt you forever. Cheers!
Conclusion: Congratulations Tax Slayer. Try Not to Lose the PDF.
If you made it this far you’ve conquered more red tape than most politicians. So slap that new Tax ID up on your wall fire up your favorite cabinet and toast to the weird complicated wonderfully broken system that lets arcades and yo the legend exist. If you pull this off without crying into your energy drink at least once, the high score is yours forever.
Now get out there and build your gaming empire. Or take a break. Both are tax deductible emotionally.