A Sarcastic, Humanized Guide for Hungry, Ambitious Americans The Mystery of “B2B Bistro”: Are We Eating Businesses for Lunch? Let’s address the chef’s special up front: B2B Bistro is not, sadly, a secret speakeasy where shaved CEOs serve you overpriced synergy sliders. In fact, “B2B” stands for “Business-to-Business,” which is any transaction between two companies, while “bistro” … Read more
The Ultimate Humanized (and Sarcastic) Guide for American Go-Getters Level 1: The “I Googled This Once” Stage So, you want to master B2B (Business-to-Business) and B2C (Business-to-Consumer) marketing. Turns out, you can’t just download expertise from the cloud—or conquer it during a bathroom break. But don’t worry! There are endless resources, courses, and “marketing gurus” … Read more
Ever wondered what B2B and B2C mean—beyond their mysterious presence in every business “thought leader’s” LinkedIn post? Let’s break it down, sarcasm mandatory, so you can finally know which category your “dog yoga mat” startup falls into. What Is B2B? (Business-to-Business) If you think businesses only sell to those pesky humans called “consumers,” think again. … Read more
A Sarcastic, Humanized Deep Dive into American Innovation (and Chaos) Act I: Birth of a Legend (Or, Sleeping on Air Mattresses) So, it’s 2008. Two broke pals in San Francisco—Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia—are staring down rent bills and entrepreneurial angst. Solution? Rent out their apartment floor with gleaming “airbeds” to complete strangers during a … Read more
A Sarcastic, Humanized Hitchhiker’s Guide for the “Next Big Thing” Believer The Spark: “I Have an Idea!” You’ve got a brilliant idea no one’s ever tried (or, at least, not on page one of Google). Armed with coffee, ambition, and a motivational quote from Instagram, you’re determined to launch your empire—starting… now! Reality check: there’s a tiny … Read more
A Sarcastic, Deeply Human Guide for the Financially Challenged Dreamer The Fantasy: “Guaranteed” Loans for the Credit-Challenged Imagine this: You’ve got a business idea, a credit score so low it needs a ladder, and the unshakeable belief that someone—anyone!—will hand you cash, “guaranteed.” Welcome to the realm of mythical funding, where guaranteed loans are as common as … Read more
A Sarcastic, Deeply Human Guide for the Financially Challenged Dreamer The Fantasy: “Guaranteed” Loans for the Credit-Challenged Imagine this: You’ve got a business idea, a credit score so low it needs a ladder, and the unshakeable belief that someone—anyone!—will hand you cash, “guaranteed.” Welcome to the realm of mythical funding, where guaranteed loans are as common as … Read more
Can We Really Get Startup Business Loans for Veterans? A Sarcastic, Humanized Guide for the American Dreamer in Uniform The Legend: Special Loans for Veterans So you’ve served your country, survived boot camp, and now you want to survive… the lender’s conference room. Rumor has it, veterans get special treatment when it comes to business loans. Spoiler: If by … Read more
A Sarcastic Guide for the Bedazzled Dreamer The Glorious Illusion: “Just Get a Loan!” Welcome, aspiring mogul! You’ve got a killer business idea, an Instagram account, and… tour-de-force enthusiasm. All you need now is a modest startup loan to launch your future empire. Simple, right? Oh, absolutely—if you’re a unicorn with a perfect credit history, a thirty-year … Read more
Welcome to the Awkward First Date: Entrepreneur Meets Innovation Picture this: An entrepreneur walks into a bar. Innovation is already there, sipping something trendy and mysterious. The entrepreneur, full of wild ideas and caffeine, tries to impress. Innovation smirks, knowing full well that without it, the entrepreneur’s “game-changing” app is just another digital paperweight. And … Read more