Pop quiz: What’s longer than your college thesis, duller than your roommate’s PowerPoint decks, and more stressful than accidentally sending your bank info to a phishing email? Correct! It’s the business plan for US startup funding. Welcome, brave founder, to the part of entrepreneurship nobody put in the Instagram highlights: the grueling, soul-roasting, Excel-cursed process … Read more
Picture it: You, hunched over your laptop at 1:47 AM, sipping who-knows-what from a Starbucks cup, ready to launch The Next Big Thing on Kickstarter. Maybe you’re planning the world’s first Bluetooth-connected avocado, or a line of eco-friendly, pet-sized joggers. (Please don’t.) Whatever your hustle—reality check—you NEED a business plan for crowdfunding. Not just a … Read more
Welcome, hustler, side-hustler, or just-surviving-inflation survivor. Today’s episode: how to craft a Business Plan just irresistible enough that an “angel investor” (aka—rich person with trust issues) might actually bet on you instead of… literally any other human with a Gmail account. If you think angel investors like risk, just remember: their idea of risk is … Read more
So, you want money. Not, like, “buy an overpriced latte” money real, grown-up, wire-transfer cash that lands you somewhere between “not broke” and “LinkedIn influencer.” Congratulations! You’re one business plan, many sleepless nights, and a possibly questionable slide deck away from pitching to investors who’ve seen it all: hype, hope, and horror stories disguised as … Read more
Congratulations, future founder! You’re about to enter the thrilling, soul-scorching world of venture capital—where dreams go to scale (and sometimes, to die dramatically in a We Work lobby). You’ve binge-watched enough “Shark Tank” to know the look VCs give when someone’s making up numbers, and yet, here you are. It’s time to create a Business … Read more
Welcome to the American Dream, 2025 edition: where you need a Business Plan longer than the Terms of Service you definitely didn’t read, just to beg a bank for money you’ll almost immediately spend on inventory, rent, and—let’s be honest—several “I’m a Founder” lattes. Yes, you’ve officially reached the “please approve my loan” stage of … Read more
Congratulations! You’ve hit peak adulthood: Googling “SBA-approved business plan,” crushed by existential dread, and clutching a cold brew you can’t afford. Forget “following your dreams”—the Small Business Administration (SBA) demands paperwork, structure, and a grown-up font. If you want an SBA loan (or just a fleeting sense of legitimacy), you’ll need to master the infamous … Read more
We live in chaotic times—your side hustle is already “in its flop era,” the only thing rising faster than your rent is your iced coffee budget, and yet here you are, determined to woo investors. Yes, actual humans with checkbooks. Now, the internet says you “need a business plan for investors,” but nobody tells you … Read more
Welcome, entrepreneurial overachiever, procrastinator, or poor soul trapped at a coworking desk next to a guy who says “synergy” unironically. You Googled “How long should a business plan be?”—maybe right after reading approximately 58 different answers, none of which made sense and one of which involved “manifesting” the perfect length. Pull up that second (or … Read more
So, you’ve decided to ditch the 9 to 5 grind and embrace the wild, unpredictable life of a freelancer. Congratulations! You’re now part of the elite club of people who work in their pajamas and call it “business casual.” But before you start dreaming of your future yacht (or at least a solid Wi-Fi connection), … Read more