Congratulations! You’re Opening an Arcade! Let’s See If the IRS Accepts Your Friendship Request.
You did it. You ignored that one cousin who said, Arcades are dead. You told your parents that, yes this is a real business and no it’s not a front for streaming Fortnite 24/7. You even found an arcade business near me space that smells like nostalgia and stale popcorn. So what’s the catch? Oh right. Tax ID. Like taxes but with less therapy.
Before you can bathe in the glorious neon glow of your own retro kingdom, you get to tango with the IRS the only boss fight without cheat codes. Strap in. If you thought inserting coins for continues was bad wait until you play form SS 4: Get Me a Tax ID.
Hey, it’s either this or money laundering, so here we are.
The Magical Tax ID: Because Paying Taxes Is the Final Boss Nobody Talks About
Let’s clarify: A tax ID isn’t the name you give your favorite pinball machine. It’s the Employer Identification Number (EIN) and your official way to tell the government: Yes, I exist now please stop haunting my dreams.
Why Do You Need This Anyway?
You want a business bank account that doesn’t make your banker sigh audibly.
You want to hire employees who ideally, have thumbs and opinions about Ms. Pac Man.
The IRS doesn’t want you vibing it wants you complying.
No Tax ID, No Arcade isn’t just a drama title it’s your 2025 biography.
Imagine pitching Shark Tank: So I have this business but like no actual paperwork. Kevin O’Leary weeps. America weeps. Your childhood dreams? Also weeping.
How to Apply for a Tax ID (Spoiler: It’s About as Fun as Waiting in Line at DMV But Less Fun Photos)
Here’s the deal: The application isn’t hard per se. It’s just emotionally spicy.
OR use that ancient thing called mail. Because who doesn’t love channeling 1991?
What You’ll Need:
Business name. (No, “INSERT COIN LLC” isn’t taken. Yet.)
Owner’s info (that’s you, Big Boss).
Your business address. And no, mom’s basement does not count.
A vague ability to pretend you understand tax jargon.
2. The Page Loads. You Weep.
Click through quest lines so labyrinthine you’ll wish for a real life walkthrough. Do NOT hit refresh unless you love existential dread.
3. The Dreaded Questions
What type of entity are you? Did you take that BuzzFeed quiz? It’s NOT the same.
How many employees? Does your sister helping out for pizza count?
Nature of business? Choose between arcade, game center or adults reliving their youth with coins and tears.
Pro tip: Seriously, don’t lie. The IRS is like the Ban Hammer on steroids.
4. Hit Submit. Pray to RNG.
With luck (and no tech crash) your tax ID comes instantly online. Otherwise, you get to experience waiting.
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But I Have Questions !: The FAQ You Didn’t Know You Needed
Let’s be real, you do NOT want to call the IRS hotline (it’s like waiting for Coachella tickets but the only thing that sells out is your will to live). Here’s your FAQ, served hot:
Is this only for arcade arcades? If you’re earning money from anything that isn’t pocket change you need a tax ID.
Can I apply at 2a.m. in my pajamas? Yes, and honestly, that’s the only way you should.
Is this free? Yes. If anyone tries to charge you (except for the collective trauma) run.
Can I use my Social Security Number instead? Only if you hate boundaries and love audits.
The Near Me Tax ID Myth: Because Proximity Doesn’t Make Red Tape Less Tangled
Search for gaming arcade business near me tax ID and what do you get? Ads. Nonsense. Maybe a video of someone doing a Fortnite dance on TikTok.
Here’s a secret: There is no magical, local hack. It’s federal, baby. Whether your arcade is in New York, L.A. or Omaha the tax ID process is the same. Welcome to America, where everything is bigger except tax loopholes for small businesses.
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Final Boss Checklist: You the IRS and the Dreams of High Scores
Before you hit start on your business make sure you:
Have your Tax ID safe (screen shotted, printed, tattooed on your arm).
Didn’t fall for a scam. The only people asking for your info should be the IRS your bank or that one friend who wants free tokens.
Actually know what games you’re putting in your arcade. (Surprise: paperwork can’t be your only attraction.)
Are ready to fill out file and forget until next spring. Yay, deadlines.
If you finish all this and can still remember your original business idea, you win extra lives. If not enjoy your new career advising others in the comment sections of Reddit.
Conclusion: You Made It, Player One
Wow. You really stuck it out for the full Tax ID boss fight. If you actually do this open a gaming arcade business near you in 2025, survive the IRS and don’t get lost in your own paperwork please DM me your life hacks, because you’re either a genius or a chaos-loving legend. Now go unleash high scores (and, yeah, quarterly filings). May your coin slots never jam.
Or just frame your new Tax ID buy another energy drink and call it a day. You deserve it.
