Welcome to Compliance: Where Your Dreams Meet Government Regs
Ah, 2025. The year remote work became “mandatory hybrid” and Starbucks Venti went up to $14 yet somehow business plan compliance became the new escape room nobody asked for. You wanted to run a start up, not moonlight as a certified box checker for Big Brother.
But here you are clutching your iced oat milk despair, wondering how to survive the business plan compliance checklist of the future. Did the IRS just update their list again? Did the City of Despair, Nebraska invent a “TikTok Vendor Permit”? Plot twist: probably. Let’s take a caffeinated, sarcastic stroll through every absurd step so you can check boxes and remain barely legal.
Section 1: “State It or Regret It” Why the Feds Don’t Care, but Your County Sure Does
Let’s face it: no one at the federal level actually reads your business plan unless you’re planning to build a crypto mining farm on stolen national park land. But your state? Your city? They require a business plan like it’s the secret ingredient to avocado toast.
The Compliance Drama:
- State registration – Because every LLC needs a name an address and a backup plan for when your best friend bails at 2 a.m.
- County permits – Pop quiz: Does your “hand poured soy candle empire” require an environmental impact statement? (Yes, if your cousin Karen files a complaint.)
- Local zoning checks – Because running a coffee shop out of your garage is “charming” until the HOA finds out.
Checklist Section:
- LLC/Corp registered with the state
- Business address isn’t your mom’s basement (unless the city is cool with that)
- Local zoning approved
- Permits for anything that could possibly catch fire (aka, everything)
Business Plan tip: If you don’t mention compliance in your plan, be prepared for surprise visits from Harold, the city inspector who just discovered TikTok.
Section 2: “Federal Vibes Only” When the Feds (Sorta) Pretend to Care
Will the Feds ever ask for your business plan ? Ha! No. Will they want an EIN and actual tax returns? Yes.
But in 2025, the Small Business Administration (SBA) wants to see some evidence you can spell “plan” especially if you want their “We Feel Sorry For Founders” micro loan.
Federal Checklist Section:
- EIN Registered (“No but really, it’s not the same as your SSN”)
- Operating agreement (read: don’t screw over your co founder)
- Proof you paid some taxes, somewhere last year
Bonus round: That SBA grant application has a whole business plan upload section and yes someone will read it and judge your fonts.
Section 3: “Banker Bouncers and Investor Judges” Bring a Plan or Cry Alone
Try opening a business account in 2025 with nothing but vibes and a logo you made in Canva. Go ahead. We’ll wait.
The moment you want real money, suddenly every gatekeeper in the land wants your business plan a summary a five year projection and a list of lead free mug manufacturers.
- Banks: Laugh in your face if you answer “What’s your financial plan?” with “Well like, TikTok?”
- Investors: They want numbers, not just hope, and proof you heard of compliance.
- Lenders: Love bullet points, hate ambition without receipts.
Checklist Section:
- Business plan printed, PDF’d, and saved on nine cloud drives
- Financial projections that look semi sane (or are at least in English)
- Disaster plan that’s not just “Try Again Next Quarter”
Section 4: “Annual Update Freak Out” Congrats the Checklist Never Ends
Remember when you thought the compliance checklist was a “one and done” thing? That was cute! In 2025 “annual review” means less vacation more bureaucratic existential crises.
- Update your business plan : Market shifted? TikTok trend died? Add it to the plan.
- Licenses and permits: Welcome to renewal hell don’t let any expire unless you want to “pivot” to professional apologizer.
- Employee stuff: Payroll rules, OSHA updates the remote work policy nobody reads (except the HR narc).
Checklist Section:
- Business plan reviewed, updated, and resent to everyone who pretends to care
- All local/state/federal paperwork filed so nobody repossesses your desk chair
- Employee compliance folder is NOT a pile of unread emails
2025 business compliance tip: When in doubt, over document. The only thing scarier than the IRS is losing that random certificate from your last Zoom orientation.
Section 5: “Final Boss The Random Audit”
Maybe you “accidentally” shared your business plan on Instagram. Oops! Now here’s an audit or worse a mentorship request from a guy named Trent.
Stay ready:
- Review your checklist every time someone says “due diligence.”
- Keep a copy of everything paper, digital, tattooed on your soul.
- Remember: The only thing more expensive than licensing is pretending it doesn’t exist.
TLDR but with More Sarcasm
If you survived this 2025 business plan compliance checklist rollercoaster, congrats you’re officially more prepared than 90% of office TikTok. Just remember: check boxes, check vibes and for the love of oat milk, check your local paperwork before you go viral for the wrong reasons.
(P.S: If you skimmed to the end, you know more than the average Crypto Bro and have 30 seconds to panic before your next compliance email. You’re welcome.)