So, you’ve survived another scroll through LinkedIn where “thought leaders” tell you to just start—as if launching a business is only slightly harder than choosing a Netflix show. Somewhere between your third iced coffee and that “for you” TikTok suggesting you become a CEO by 30, it hits: Should you actually, like, write a business plan? Or is that for boring people with spreadsheets and patience? Welcome, chaos magnet, to the ultimate moment of non-chill: figuring out exactly when to buckle down and business plan your way to world domination—or, you know, not starvation.
1. “On the Back of a Napkin” Isn’t Forever: When Your Idea Won’t Die
Let’s be honest: Every great “future multi-billion dollar empire” starts as a voice note, shower thought, or “what if we made Uber…for therapists?” in a group chat. At this stage, your brilliant concept is still in the “named after an inside joke” phase and written nowhere except maybe the back of a Starbucks receipt.
But when the idea won’t quietly dissolve (and, let’s face it, you’re bored), it’s time to get real. If you find yourself:
- Sketching logos at 2 AM
- Telling friends about your “low-key genius side hustle” (even though you can’t explain it sober)
- Googling “How much does Mark Cuban invest in first-time founders”
Then, honey, it’s time to turn that napkin art into something more legit. Yes, this means a business plan. One that doesn’t smell like old French fries.
2. The Great Funding Adventure: When You’re Ready to Beg for Money (with Dignity)
You might think a Business Plan is optional—until you try convincing literally anyone to hand you money. (Sadly, “just Venmo me” only works with friends who owe you from Taco Tuesday.) Banks, investors, even your own mom want Actual Adult Documents.
You should—and by “should,” I mean “have no actual choice”—write that business plan when you:
- Want a business loan? Banker Daddy demands documentation.
- Think “Shark Tank” is in your future (or at least, your friend’s eager uncle)
- Are crowdfunding but want to rope in more than just your grandma and the one high school friend who still likes all your status updates
Pro tip: Writing a business plan is the corporate rite of passage for everyone who’s ever Googled “How to impress a VC.” Spoiler: Pie charts help, but fake enthusiasm is essential.
Lists banks/investors love:
- Revenue projections (lie only as much as legally allowed)
- Actual numbers (not “Maybe a million-ish by Q3?”)
- Multiple sections you will dread writing, such as “market analysis,” which is code for “20 minutes on Reddit but with more graphs”
3. When You Need to Explain It to Literally Anyone—Including Yourself
Let’s say you dive in headfirst and start your business sans plan—YOLO, right? Eventually, someone (investor, Skype interview, bored date) will ask, “So, what does your company actually do?”
Cue the existential crisis. Vague answers don’t count after your third pitch session.
Here are the warning signs it’s time for a Business Plan:
- Your elevator pitch lasts longer than your Uber ride downtown.
- Your “team” (read: your friends) keep asking why you’ve made them CFO, COO, and Head of Vibes.
- You change your business description every time you explain it—sometimes mid-sentence.
A solid plan is basically your personal “script” for sounding like you almost know what you’re doing. Bonus: reading it makes your brain stop spinning in circles, for five minutes at least.
Side comment: If you can’t explain your business to a six-year-old, you need a business plan. Or a career coach. Maybe both.
4. When You’re Assembling the Dream Team (or Just Outsourcing Everything)
You might have started solo (“It’s me, myself, and my DoorDash driver, living the dream!”), but soon you’ll want help—or at least someone else to blame for typos.
Before you hand out titles like “Chief Hype Officer” and “Head of Coffee Acquisition,” you need a [Business Plan]. Clarity saves friendships, money, and therapy bills.
- Want co-founders to take you seriously? (“Is there equity, or just unlimited exposure?”)
- Thinking of hiring? (They need to know you have a plan beyond “let’s go viral”)
- Partnering with other businesses or influencers who ask, “Uh…do you actually do anything?”
Remember: Startups love buzzwords, but when you’re asking people to join you for less than minimum wage (ah, the dream), a business plan is the minimum requirement.
5. Before Everything Breaks, Burns, or Explodes: The Last Chance Saloon
Let’s be brutally honest. Sometimes you ONLY write a business plan after disaster strikes—a failed launch, sinking sales, or when you realize the IRS wants receipts, not dog memes.
If any of these sound familiar, stop, drop, and plan:
- Revenues make you laugh (or cry)
- You pivot more than a TikTok dance challenge
- Every project turns into a fire drill
It’s never “too late” until your business card says “Consultant, Unpaid.” The sooner you write that business plan—at any stage—the less likely you are to need GoFundMe to pay the rent.
Conclusion: “The Best Time Was Yesterday. The Next Best Is Now (After You Finish This Coffee)”
Made it this far? Wow, you’re either extremely lost or undercover as a motivational speaker. Here’s the brutal summary—write a [Business Plan] whenever:
- Your idea wakes you up at 3 AM
- You want to dazzle anyone with a suit, wallet, or opinion
- You’re tired of making stuff up as you go
Remember, real entrepreneurs DIY business plans in between caffeine binges, breakdowns, and TikTok doomscrolling. Don’t wait for the “right time”—that’s how you become the person editing their plan at 4 AM before a pitch meeting.
Go forth, start plotting, and if you actually finish your business plan, treat yourself to something nice. (Hint: It’s probably another coffee.)